I had never been to the Doug Fir Lounge. Though the establishment has played hose to many of favorite musical performers I would have loved to have seen. But much like Jay Brannan who has performed there one more than one occasion, I was always either underage or unemployed in some way shape or form to go see any of these shows. In March of 2012 while preparing for my future New York City trip I discovered that Jay would be returning to Portland in August, and nothing was going to stop me from seeing him this time.
The Doug Fir Lounge is the closest I've come to experiencing a Pink Martini IKEA style bar/venue that are often frequented by white middle aged couples and gay men. The decor consists of wooden log walls, and a tree pattern back drop onstage, ablaze in purple. The corners and sides of the ceiling are lit with red, and the bar behind the main stage lounge area is gold. The bathrooms are quite literally wedged into a corner, and it was by that corner that I first caught a glimpse of Jay Brannan standing over a table with his Cd's for sale.
Too nervous to make the first move to say hi to him I scampered back to my seat. I had started the night sitting at one of the wood log tables and ended up talking to a middle aged blonde woman and her well built, younger gay man friend who kind of resembled Zachary Quinto. I'm not sure exactly what their relationship was but whatever they had going on I liked it. Her name was Leslie, and his name was Sergio. I talked with them a but, mostly with Leslie, about my love for Jay Brannan and how long I've waited to see him perform live. Leslie offered to let me sit closer back to their table so I could see better, since the lounge was starting to crowd with people. But I decided to move closer to the stage, for I was not about to watch Jay Brannan perform through a pair of binoculars(I didn't actually have a pair of binoculars on me) I managed to steal a spot directly in front of the right side of the stage, with a perfect view of the seat that would soon be occupied by Jay Brannan. The people I was standing next to was led by a loud young woman named Phoenix. She claimed to be a professional stalker of Brannan as well as other queer male singers. We talked a little about Jay's music and I told her how the song, "Housewife," perfectly illustrated why when I get married I want to be the stay at home spouse, and she said that song almost always made her cry. Her and her friends had brought things for him to sign, so I made a plan to follow her back after the show so I could get my picture with him, nervousness be damned. Furthermore, I was grateful that I managed to pick such a fantastic spot with such convenient people.
The show started a little bit after nine, and the opening act actually wasn't that bad. It was a woman named, Chris Pureka. She had a really nice voice and sang really well, though her music was below sub par on the heavy handed Ani Difranco level. She told us a funny story about how for the rest of Jay's tour on the West Coast, she was driving to California for those California shows, but Jay got to fly(which he later mentioned during his set that he was flying 1st class to boot). Everyone to sympathy for her by awwwww-ing. After she was done, everyone applauded her and they wouldn't stop applauding. So much to the point that Jay himself dragged her back out onstage for an encore song. It was a really sweet moment, and I was happy for her.
Finally it was time for Jay Brannan. The reason I came to this show by myself and braved the eccentric crowd without an available wingman. He took to the stage and naturally I, "Whoo'd," and "Whoop'd." For every song, Jay was lit with a different spotlight. Sometimes red, sometimes a natural light blue, the whole set a kaleidoscope of multicolored spotlights to light his every pitch perfect note. He sang all of my favorite songs; Housewife, At First Sight, Half Boyfriend, and of course Soda Shop from the movie through which I first discovered him through, "John Cameron Mitchell's "Shortbus." Aside from those, two of the shows other highlights included Jay doing a cartwheel onstage after sharing with us that he used to be a gymnast then saying that he may have thrown out his back doing the cartwheel he just did. He followed this up with a story of how he met Jason Priestly and him making the connection that it was Jay's ass the Star Spangled Banner was being sung into by Pj Deboy in Shortbus. The second, or second and third highlights if you will, were the two covers he sang. The first was a cover of, "Your House," by Alanis Morissette. A song that called to be sung in A-Capella. The whole lounge was silent as he sang. Not even a drink being made at the bar was heard. It was incredible. And for the second cover he sang, "Superbass," by Nicki Minaj. Superbass. Jay Brannan's voice. One guitar. The whole time I'm thinking I need to be filming this...but I can't look away. Quite simply, the cover kicked ass. Jay Brannan NEEDS to release an album of covers by R&B singers. And anyone else who has seen the video of Jay Brannan singing, "Straight Outta Compton," will attest to that. He also made a couple of jokes about Portland. Saying how he loves that there's so much meat to eat in Portland because no one is eating it(vegans), and after commenting on our nation of flannel remarked on how rather than wearing flannel like he did at the last Portland show, he opted for wearing a shirt with a man wearing flannel on it.
When the show was finally over I booked it with Phoenix to the back area where Jay Brannan said he would be so he could say hi to everyone. I was right in the front of one of two lines that formed, and stood right next to him Jay for a few minutes before a couple of audience members managed to get in front of me to meet him first. In the other line across from me was Leslie and Sergio, as well as Sergio's friend they were waiting for that finally showed up. I was happy to see them again, and Sergio's friend was nice enough to let me go first before him which I thought was very nice, especially given the crowd. But with all the wonderful people I had met that night, Leslie, Sergio, Sergio's friend, Phoenix, Phoenix's friends, I was grateful to have gone to a show with such nice and friendly people. Like Phoenix said, "Jay Brannan shows make people act nice!" She may have been right.
Finally it was my turn. I took one big step forward and Jay Brannan and I looked right at each other and exchanged hi's. I told him that I had been waiting five years to see him perform ever since I first saw him in, "Shortbus." And that now I finally got to, and that he not only was incredible during the show, but IS in an incredible and important music artist. He seemed touched and said thank you, similar to how I respond to audience members at Rocky shows(so I knew it was genuine). We took two pictures together, and I decided to hug him goodbye then really quickly said thank you and bolted up the stairs grabbing a show poster on my way out.
Jay Brannan's music has always meant something to me. Sometimes just as a beautiful voice to listen to, and other times that same voice manages to tap into my feelings about wanting love and the disappointment it so often brings. His music can be sad. But much like Elliott Smith and Morrissey there's a comfort to be had in that sadness. When I first saw Shortbus I saw him as this beautiful model artsy indie actor. But soon after I discovered his music and suddenly he was no longer just the guy from Shortbus. He was Jay Brannan the musician. Sometimes we can't always explain why something is so beautiful us. It just is. And for me, the night of the show at the Doug Fir was as beautiful as listening to his songs at eighteen; a depressed senior in high school who would sneak on YouTube in the computer lab to listen to all of his songs.
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