Hello bloggers. It has come to my attention that there are many guests on the party list who have not yet made an appearance on the Portland Bowl blog. And considering that I am leaving to California for two days for an indefinite amount of time, I figured it was only right that they be given their fair chance at being the prize in the box, all together, all at the same time.
Now, you may have also noticed that this blog is a two part er. That is because in the upcoming sequel to this blog, I am planning an entire blog dedicated to those friends, young and old, those who have made appearances and those who are about to. This blog will have my friends presented with titles most deserving to them. So that they may live on as my characters in this ever growing soggy mess of the cereal bowl.
Now enough vague detail about where this is actually headed...let's get on with the honorable mentions.
Now let's see, so far we have mentioned:
Ernie Boy. My only gay friend. The only one I can trust, share my most intimate thoughts with, and NOT castrate after I've found out that he shared a drunken kiss with one my crushes. That's magic. And that's what best friends are made of. There certainly is magic about Ernie Boy. Let's just hope he hasn't run away from me for good.
Tonya Belle: Good 'ole South Carolina pudding pie. Apart from being my night in felony flats savior, she has become synonymiswith hit HBO and Showtime programs such as Oz, Dexter, and True Blood. As well as a healthy dose of homemade cosmos and grits. Her mascot, is a bunny rabbit named Bella. Who is the nicest, sweetest, rabbit I've ever had the pleasure of petting. Her on again off again friend Tracy provides a healthy dose of violent humor. All and all, you're always guaranteed a wild, yet pleasantly down to earth time, at Tonya's place.
Ragin Megan: We've been friends since high school. She was there for me during my dreaded Holden Caufield senior year. She was there, though not necessarily to my enthusiasm, for me when I faced eviction from not just my apartment, but Portland as well. She has accompanied me downtown when it was necessary and when it was desired. Her on again off again boyfriend Ryan provides sexy eye candy which makes for a voyeuristic bonus.
Scotty Hotty: The deadly sexy barista at your local NW 21st CoffeeTime. He's been serving my dirty chais for well over a year now and somehow they always seem to taste more mediocre than before. Yet its not his coffee making skills I'm after if you get my drip brew. Scotty Hotty falls in between the lines of obvious, visible lust and attraction, and the line of cowardice, and humility. You just cannot bring yourself to take that step that goes beyond friendly coffee house friendship. He remains, an untouchable.
Sonic Kayla: A Montana transport, the two of us met on a triple digit summer day. In which, SPOTTED: Thurston Moore. On the day of his concert at the Roseland, makes an appearance at Jackpot Records. Where eager fans gathered for autographs and nervous pleas of photo ops. Our love for Sonic Youth was inseparable. And soon we were discussing the void of Portland hipsters between passionate romantics...such as ourselves.
Jazibee: Another High School antique. Jazibee, since graduation, has embraced the rriot girl movement. A scholar for woman studies, every trip we take is a guaranteed Bikini Kill fest. When it comes to fun bubbly, yet aggressively, not one to let her guard down, CHICKS to hangout with downtown, she is the cream of the cream corned can.
Brent Davis: He was my unmentionable friend who accompanied me on the night of Daniel Clowes' Powell's showing. Not sure why he was an unmentionable, considering hes perhaps the oldest high school relic, as well as the sole person who was responsible for bringing me to Voodoo Doughnuts, way way back in late '06. While Brent's questionable homophobia and violent protests of trash cinema are a bit grating, theres no doubt that Brent will always be there. Through the hard times and the destructible times. He's as dependable as the immortal Mr. Burns.
Olivia: Shes a hipster.
Ryan 1: What is there to say about Ryan 1 without telikinetically opening a vein? It could be his unparalleled beauty, his unbridled sense of spiritual anarchy, or the discombobulated sense of form you're left with after meeting him for the first time. Making you fear your next meeting. Whatever the case may be bloggers, the devil should he exist, tempts us in forms that are most pleasing to the eye. And I can only feel that Ryan 1 is the golden delicious apple that lies in waiting.
Little R. and Boy Wonder: The two of them certainly go hand in hand, so it only right that they be mentioned alongside each other. The two were found spotted at a bike hospital show, deep in NE Portland, the night after Thanksgiving. What made me gravitate towards them is still a mystery. Maybe it was my drunken Pabst smear mouth, or perhaps my teasing sense of humor calling them out on their: Edward and Bella thing. But since then, the two R's, Robin and Rachael, have been a dynamic duo of good company and laughs. In between split sandwiches and stuffed hasbrowns, Little R. has shined her golden mane deep into my chakras providing an excellent drain. Where as Boy Wonder has remained ever the dependable with a cigarette, a car, a beautiful art piece for a Birthday gift.Theres only one candidate each for the Mr. and Mrs. Oregon title. Who do you think has my vote?
And there you go. All the ones who made appearances. And now its time to honor or those, who without this entry, may never have a chance of showing up again:
Harryhausen: Another high school relic, second to Brent, Harryhausen and I have developed a steady history of cult films, downtown ventures, and bomb shelters to escape parental abuse and cabin fever. With his steady minor girlfriend Kyla, his funny orientation questionable and god willing brother Bryce, his loving mother Someones in the kitchen with Dinah, and his wonder pug puppy Vinnie, Harryhausen could have his own sitcom. Only as a spin off show from MY show of course.
Heather Phinney: A golden calf idol of spiritual enlightenment, Heather recently made the move to Pittsburgh for an indefinite amount of time. Aside from her goddess like ingenuity her mark was forever placed on my life by none other than her boy loving black cat, Tiny. With her came Ken Volok. Artist and Greg ARaki extraordinaire. Let's hope that this goddess doesn't cement herself in the Mt Olympus kingdom of Pittsburgh.
Noah Hoah: What happens when you've been with a friend whose experienced being BOTH sexxes? Untarnished friendship gold. Noah Hoah, the artist formerly known as Courtney Kappertz, has been my suicidal therapy, my coffee drinking buddy, my taxes consultant, my inspiration for action figure collecting, my best present and Birthday cake giving, friend. After mentioning all that I feel like I really haven't done my part in equaling the friendship. The only promise I can make to dear Noah Hoah, is that when I'm rich and famous, he will have a shower of wealth whose faucet will be in my hands. :)
Baby Troy: Sexy baker with a super power way of lovin.
Vivica Valentine: The only drag queen to gain my trust.
Raijah Royale: Nordstrom pretty lady.
Ryan Marquez: Geek extraordinaire.
Alice Wonderland: Pregnant beautiful Asian girl who makes you unashamed to read, "Twilight."
Nathan Hoover: Storytelling leader of the Bohemian walking tours.
Ajah Asia: Goddess of the water squids, and fetish wear.
Miky Solaris: Futuristic dancer for Jabba the Hut/ Blueberry muffin stand in on the Strawberry Shortcake show.
And if I'm forgetting anyone else which I'm sure I am, but, I'm afraid, I have Simpson's episodes to attend to, that is why Bill Gates invented the edit button.
Now...be sureand catch Part 2 of the infamous two parter blog. In which my party guests will be awarded with the blogger brand.
Until next time Portlanders, as always, keep your guard up.
And your cereal dry.
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